I think I need fun pills.

Why do I feel so distant and socially awkward so much of the time? Even among friends, whom I love dearly, I can feel this awkardness. I feel like I don't know what to say so I am usually quiet, or how to act, or whatever. Being "myself" can mean being boring, and while that is a very fine song by the Pet Shop Boys, I feel like I am letting my friends down which makes me feel very self conscious. Very self conscious.