email my real mom sent me

[plunkybug]

Don't know how true these are, but I have had my fair share of funny/excruciatingly painful calls.




Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
===============
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least:
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Comments

[wundermuffin.livejournal.com]

hahahahahahahaha. i hope these are real.

[plunkybug.livejournal.com]

There are plenty of Village Idiots running around and ruining the country.

[ex-sandcat309.livejournal.com]

hahahahah!!

[realitystylist.livejournal.com]

You might find this amusing:

Subject: FW: THANKS
>
>I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and
>trouble to send me your darn chain letters over the past year.
>Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
>
>Because of your concern...
>I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet
>stains.
>
>I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who
>make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on
>their cans.
>
>I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get
>sick from the rat feces and urine.
>
>I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it
>causes cancer.
>
>I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I
>could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
>
>I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I
>smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
>
>I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug
>me with a perfume sample and rob me.
>
>I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they
>are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
>
>I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support
>our American troops or the Salvation Army bell ringers.
>
>I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to
>dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell
>with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan
>
>I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens
>they contain will turn me gay.
>
>I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually
>horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
>
>I no longer date because they will take my kidneys and leave
>me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
>
>I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I
>receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
>
>I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I
>now have their recipe.
>
>I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
>looking out for me and St Theresa's novena has granted my
>every wish.
>
>Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
>prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a
>wish within five minutes. (Jeez, the BIBLE did not mention it works
>that way!)
>
>I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl
>who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
>
>I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once
>I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
>participating in their special e-mail program.
>
>Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking
>out for me! I will now return the favor.
>
>If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next
>60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at
>5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest
>your armpits.
>
>I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a
>friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin's first sons daughter's
>husband's step brother's son.
>
>Have a happy and healthy life!!