Nothing accomplished this weekend...

[plunkybug]

Well, I can't say NOTHING in the bold word sense, but I was fairly lazy and did not do much. I wanted to do some things (even some responsble things like cleaning and such), but I never got around to doing them. I think part of it was that I have been so tired lately, that I sept in til nearly 2pm both days. It may also have something to do with my mental state...I have admittedly been more depressed than usual. I should dig out the 5-HTP again. Last week, on the 28th, it would have been my parent's anniversary. As of next Saturday, it will be 5 months since he died. I spent a fair amount of the last few days crying a lot. But I did want to get out. Saturday, it was raining, and I was not sure how long Chas would be at this computer expo thingy in Kissimmee, and whether we were getting with friends in the evening or not. We ended up not. Was going to try to do something today while Chas was at computer expo thingy, but ended up staying inside, mostly in the dark, much like yesterday. Although I can say for yesterday, I did have a lovely conversation with my brother, and a nice long one with realitystylist over Yahoo Messenger....well, Adium for me, since it does all the major IM clients. So that WAS nice. Oh, and I got the rent check up to the office...which is how I learned it was raining. Despite having had a vacation recently, I think a nice girls weekend or adventure is in demand for me now. I want to go out and have fun with my female friends, and not have to worry about anything. Hugs are welcome too, of course. I am a hug whore. :)

I need to find a good groove and get back into it...I think I was doing a little better for a while, but...I slipped for a whilie...at least I need to get back to where I was and keep moving up and onward. I need to get more order and discipline in my life. I know it is a hard path, and habits and routines are so hard to break, but at least I recognize that I can do better, I can be better, and that would make me happier.

Comments

[greencow.livejournal.com]

oh sweetie, i am so sorry you had an emotional weekend. it's ok to slip because that's only human. however, it is great that you recognise that you've slipped and know you must not let that become permanant.

my therapy of choice is a hot bubble bath, a glass of wine or a cup of tea, and a good book. lighting candles is optional.

*hugs*

[realitystylist.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I could help you feel a little better, even if only on a temporary basis.

[teajade.livejournal.com]

I couldn't have said it better than GreenCow, really, in that, it is most impo to recognise these certain things. It's in the recognition, that your strength and courage lies. Too many people are not courageous enough to look in the mirror, to even Do Work it takes to know themselves on deeper levels, which IS part of the emotional level. It takes courage to do all that. I am proud of you. Sometime it is ALL about the journey and SEEMINGLY nothing to do with the ever-elusive destination. And that can be frustrating, confusing, and well... as humans we want to see destinations, results, lights at the ends of tunnels... etc., that sort of thing... but sometimes life is right NOW, and sometimes, we'll see whatever the rest might be, when we least expect it.

Girl stuff with you... indeed.