Gather Ye Rosebuds

I have read so many people had trouble sleeping last night. Me? I tossed and turned and probably got 2, maybe 3 hours of sleep. Some of it was in small spurts, but nothing too long.I just don't function normally on that little sleep. I could put the blame on Glitter, and our late night coffee brew-haha (get it?), but it was me who got a caffeinated drink in the first place, not her. But, even so, I took a mega load of relax and sleep herbal stuff before bed which should have knocked me out well and good, was quasi-up when Chas called about 1:30am, practically fully awake when he got in about 2:15am, and about 3am I finally took some nyquill stuff because my sneezing was the major thing keeping me awake at the time. I only took a half dose, so as to not oversleep, but I woke up a few hours later. Earlier today I took a full dose of antihistamines, which would normally render me DEAD for a few hours, and while I was drowsy and getting *some* rest, I was consciously aware of my constant tossings and turnings. It is weird. I am fully awake, but drowsy at the same time. I have given up on trying to get some good sleep today, figuring that if I stay awake, even if I am drowsy, I will be super tired tonight and won't have a problem sleeping. I find it odd that so many other people had trouble sleeping last night though, but at least now I don't feel so much of a freak.

Holy shit! Music Choice is playing Tears For Fears "Watch Me Bleed" from The Hurting!!! Christ! Not even the band performs it live, which is a shame because it is my favorite song from this cd. I think this is a very personal song to Roland, who is the primary singer on it. Very Janov inspired. The title alone spells it out for those who have a basic knowledge of Primal Scream Therapy. Bleeding here is symbolic, for letting emotions come out...part of the therapy. The whole cd is full of Janov imagery.


Watch Me Bleed


Heaven comes to he who waits
But I know I’m getting nowhere
And all the deeds of yesterday
Have really helped to pave my way
Though there’s no one near me now
How come everyone can touch me
You see the torture on my brow
Relates to neither here nor now

Watch me bleed
Bleed forever
Although my face is straight, it lies
My body feels the pain and cries

Here the table is not bare
I am full but feeling empty
For all the warmth it feels so cold
For one so young I feel so old

Watch me bleed
Bleed forever
It’s not allowed to be unkind
But still the hate lives in my mind

I’ll make no noise
I’ll hide my pain
I’ll close my eyes
I won’t complain
I’ll lie right back and take the blame
And trie to tell myself I’m living
And when it’s all been said or done
Where do I go ?
Where do I run ?
What’s left of me or anyone when we’ve denied the hurting ?

( Neurosis...warning: quite lengthy )

LJ Quote of the night:

"no son, you cannot wear heels to vaccum" --warzau_kitten

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We ordered our new phone stuff yesterday. We decided to go with Voice Pulse. It has lots of features and has a plan we can manage. We will be getting a 321 area code, but now that we think about it, it isn't really a big deal. I mean, it isn't long distance or anything, and we can alway have our 407 numbers for our cell phones forward to the 321 number if need be. And we might be able to get a 407 number later, when they have more available.

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For some reason, it just started pouring about 45 minutes ago. I was having a bath at the time, so I couldn't update just then.

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Say, nymphie, did you ever get that Hawaiian stuff from Alba a while back when went to Whole Foods? I know it was probably a year ago, but if you got it, what did you get, and did you like it? I have been thinking of getting the travel pack.

Last night I had an amusing idea. I was watching a program on tv, South Park I think, and the infamous Enzyte commercial with Bob* came on. And so I laughed to myself when I thought of having a midi version of that jingle imported in the new phone, once I get it, and assign that ring to any number Chas might call from. :P



*For those unfamiliar with Bob, or Enzyte, here is the gist. Enzyte is for "male enhancement" and Bob is always seen with a smile on his face in a sort of 50's like setting/style. See Enzyte Bob.



On another cell phone related idea, I think it would be neat if you took public transportation, and you could get text message updates on the route you were taking, or if there was a quick command that you could dial from your phone that would let you check the status of a particular route, etc. That way you'd know whether you missed the connection, or if it was just delayed for whatever reason, and roughly for how long. Maybe you input something to the website and subscribed to a service, whether free or not. Or something. And if you did not have a cell phone, you could get a pager-like device to act in a similar function. I think that would be cool, and save from lots of people calling the transit authority in their area and waiting on hold for 15 minutes only to see that their connection has just arrived.


I got a shirt from Burlington today. There was a display at the front of the store and I looked at it while Chas was waiting in line to check out. It was New York and Company and it was $10! It would easily sold for $25 minimum in their storefront. I am not sure I am keeping it; I did try it over my shirt when I got home which may be why it felt a little tight. I think that I will most likely wear it open with a tank top under it. It was impulse purchasing. I kept the receipt no matter what I decide. I did see a few raincoats I liked, but it is hard to get a raincoat for Florida because it is so freaking hot and humid in the summer. One I saw and liked was $40, red, and lightweight...nothing special, but the lightweight and softness is an important factor. The other one I originally thought was the same price, was actually $50...the advantage to this one is that it is black (and thus would go with just about everything I own), had a detachable hood therfore making the jacket useful in the cooler months when it is dry, and was form-fitting in the waist area...it looked nice and sophisticated and clean even in my jeans. The problem was the shell; it was thicker and thus heavier than the red one, and I would probably DIE in it from too much heat in the summer, not to mention I don't know how it would hold up to one of our downpours here. But realistically, I would probably only put it on for a few minutes to cross a parking lot or something. Still, this is one of those things I wish I could "frankenstein" and keep the style and fit of the black one, and the soft, lightweight, presumably breathable material from the red one and make a whole new jacket.


Think I might go have a lie down. I did not get much sleep last night.

I had a really nice afternoon with Glitter and her cousin. Lots of neat things were discussed. We had coffee from the Starbuck's at the Barnes and Noble in the mall. After it was just me and Glitter, we went looking at books, and just as we were leaving, I decided to check the computer section and see what they had for File Maker Pro 7, which is a program I want to learn, and help give me a direction in life and a better career. I found something I think will be good...it is designed for the person who needs to learn enough of it to do a project which sounds like a basic introduction. They mention that there are other books out there that are much more thorough in explaining more things in the program for those who want to learn more. So I think I will start with this and maybe the first 5 lessons from VLC, which are free from the website.

Saw a play at Rollins called "A Day in Hollywood; A Night in the Ukraine" tonight. It was not a real performance in the sense they did not sell tickets; it was a final dress rehearsal if you will. It was free. The show was good, but there are technical issues that desperately need to be fixed before the show opens. Um, and that is tomorrow night. Anywho, the first half was a musical revue, or perhaps tribute to the glory days of Hollywood and, after the intermission, they went into "A Night in the Ukraine" which was from the Marx Brothers. I have a feeling that realitystylist would have enjoyed this show. The second half was more stable than the first, though with all the singing and dancing in the first half, it was probably a really difficult show to put on. I think, with the kinks worked out, that it will be successful, though it fills a certain niche. I think that even my lovely Glitter might have liked this, but probably more for the costumes and dialog in the latter half. (And, yes, I asked about dresses for you but they said costume design is really shoddy and they will email Chas if they find something).

Ah well, I should go to bed now. Busy day tomorrow...Aida in the evening.

Orange Ginger Mint tea...mmmm.

I probably spent way too much at Chamberlins, but I am getting desperate with my allergies. I got some local bee pollen, to take in small doses and gradually increase the dose. I also got a tonic with vitamin c, stinging nettle and quercitin in lemon flavor, though I have not taken it *raw* yet to see how it really tastes. I added a few granules of the bee pollen to the bottom of my shaker cup (part of the high bill, but reusable at least) with warm water and honey as one of the packages at the store suggested, added the liquid tonic to that, and milk and powder mix (Source of Life energy shake with whole food concentrate), so I really did not taste the bee pollen or tonic. I got a few more shake mixes (Oxy Nectar and Spirutein Cherries Jubilee flavor...both yummy!) and I am going to try them out in the mornings to see if I feel better, and to see whether it is worth the $50-60/month for the mixes on a regular basis. I am hoping that the bee pollen and tonic help with my allergies and sinus issues. Next step is to get re-tested, to see if I am still allergic to bahia grass only, or if there is more. I'd like to have foods looked at also, as last time they just did grasses, weeds, etc and it would help to know what to be aware of rather than do a torturous food elimination diet. Plus, if something like dairy or grains pop up, there are homeopathic remedies for those, and repeated use builds tolerance and resistance to them. But I need to wait until Chas' insurance kicks in so my copay will be cut in half, more than half actually, from my current plan.

Must finish eating, and pick up munchkin #2 from warzau_kitten. We are taking him to the science Center tonight!:)

Well, you know how I was all gung ho on the Nokia 3120? Well, I have changed my mind. :) I am going to get the Nokia 3220 instead. I made this choice for two reasons. The first is that T-Mobile just started to offer it, so by renewing my contract, I should qualify for an upgrade discount. The second is that there is one fundamental functionality this phone has that the 3120 does not have, that I find very important to me. The 3120 does certainly look nicer than the 3220, which is clearly marketed toward a youth crowd, teenagers and the like. The main functional difference, that I find so important to me, is that it has a 5 way scroll button vs a 4 way scroll button. The 5th "scroll" is actually more a push button selector than scroll, and bridges the gap from my phone which has a main navi-bar menu key, a clear key, and up/down selectors. So this makes the menu selections mostly done with that 5 way scroll (up/down/select) and thus the side buttons are less used. Will still have to have select talk and end keys instead of my main menu bar. I can get used to that. I know it is a basic and fundamental difference, but it is important to me. I mean, I am the one that has to be comfortable using the phone, right?


( keypad differences )


Tonight sort of sealed the deal...I was able to see a working 3220 in a T-mobile store locally. I played with it and think I will be able to work with it well. It might take a little getting used to, but it won't be much of a learning curve. And the lights can be turned off thank bloody hell. The only thing is that 1) I do not have a firm date when it will be available to existing customers for upgrades, and 2) what the actual price will be when it is available for upgrades. I have been told probably $50 by a few people, though the guy tonight thought $80, which still is not bad for a camera phone. I don't mind the wait, as I still need to pay off my new glasses first. Hopefully, I can get them this weekend. Depends on the paycheck. I got wrapped up in the festival and forgot to call my boss and request sick time on my paycheck Saturday. :(

Well, gotta go wash my hair. Then we may watch some new Who.